Five Worldly Things In The Church

Christians of the West have drawn clear lines on some issues in order to "separate ourselves" from the world. And that's necessary, given the culture in which we live.

Some of the things we see in the world are blaring differences than how God calls us to live. But there are various things observed in the church that sneak their way in from the outside.


This is a non-exhaustive list (in no particular order) of some things that are common in the church but pose a threat to its health, growth, and holiness. They're worldly things... in the church.


But be warned. These are all extremely close to home for many of us.


1) Insurance Companies

People want to be sure that they'll be taken care of should anything traumatic happen in their lives. But instead of developing a Christ-like, interdependent community of believers, we often allow individualism to creep into the church. Our health and wellbeing are held accountable, not by fellow Christians, but by massive insurance companies who promise to be there for us when times get rough. And they ought to! You think. I pay them $200/month! I'm entitled to their money!

Instead of having insurance, consider giving that monthly contribution to other Christians in need. In the New Testament, we see churches raising funds to care for the needs of others all the way across the region. Today, there are quite a few faith-based organizations that facilitate the giving of funds from person-to-person when medical bills are too much for one Christian to handle. You may even be able to do this within your church conference or denomination.

When we Christians take care of each other, we're bringing a very tangible unity to the Body of Christ. It's in this unity that we can practice various Christian virtues well. If you take care of someone's medical expenses, you have a tangible right to keep them accountable for their personal health, instead of simply "judging them" at distance for their behaviors. This principle can be applied, not only in medical needs, but in any need your brother has. Relying on each other cultivates openness, generosity, gratitude, selflessness, and so forth. This kind of community is not "of the world", but it will be extremely attractive to the world.

2) Long-Term Dating

Worldly relationships pretty much plateau at "boyfriend and girlfriend". We all know those couples - the ones who were once "just seeing each other" and have, one tentative step at a time, isolated themselves, devoted absolute loyalty, and torn down all their personal barriers between each other. Truth be told, the idea of "marriage benefits" really means nothing more to them than tax deductions. But is it really all that much different for Christians? No.

The Church basically just teaches not to have sex or live together outside of marriage, never bothering to explain that it's because such bonds, if broken, could destroy one's future ability to trust, love, and commit to their spouse. But truthfully, couples who have been dating for over a year (or four) are in the same danger. And if they're being honest with themselves, their unmarried devotion is less of a preparatory practice in commitment, and much more like trying to reach over the fence of marriage to take its fruit while avoiding its responsibilities. 

At that point, dating has become less of a means to an end and more of an end within itself. And even if they do end up getting married, the habits learned in dating will prove detrimental to their marriage! Feeling shame after sexual intimacy? Withholding parts of your personal life? "Taking breaks" in times of conflict? These are iconic in unhealthy marriages, and yet such practices begin in dating relationships that the Church would consider "healthy".

You see, biblical relationship statuses are "married", "engaged", and "unmarried". And the life of an unmarried person is meant to be drastically different than that of a married person. There is no "dating". No lengthy trial period of exclusivity. No pre-marital practice of entitlements and obligations to someone who could very well NOT end up being your spouse. Just wholehearted devotion to God and His work. We must believe that such a life before marriage is exactly what we need to prepare for it.

3) Medication

Many people need constant medication for various issues, in order to remain alive. But like the world, we Christians are all-too-quick to pop pills to numb the pain. I recently shattered my collar bone. You should've seen the doctors' faces when I denied medication. But what's more astonishing was that many Christians gave me the same face, as if to say "What, you don't want to avoid pain at all costs?"

No, I don't. And neither does God. You see, the church has somehow managed to isolate happy, positive things about God and yet neglect the parts of Scripture that talk about God using suffering to discipline His children. How many wooden plaques of "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" do you see hanging in the doorway? But the truth is that God wants us to go through pain in order to remain close to Him and rely on other Christians.

But beyond all that, we must remember that "because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted" (Heb 2:18). You see, there are many people in this world whose pain is too deep to medicate. They're the drug addicts, the homeless, the social outcasts. God calls us to be Christ to them, but you can't do that if you decide to pretend it doesn't exist. Walk through pain together, with others, relying on God and the believers around you.

4) The State

People "of the world" want their moral standards to be imposed by the state. They want to use the government to force others to pay for contraception, to offer marital benefits to gay people - to affirm their beliefs. With no higher authority, they have good reason to put their hope in the State. But we too seek to impose our moral code onto those who don't even agree with it.

But instead of attempting to conform people on issues of morality and religion via secular government, consider using the government as a means of allowing people the freedom to choose for themselves. This resolves a greater concern in our society, which is government abuse of power and money. It just so happens that God's perfect justice is extremely expensive, and requires a lot of authority. So on this side of Judgement Day, the only one who wins in the battle of state-imposed morality is... the state.

In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul calls us to judge those inside the church - to let God judge those outside. He does this in order to protect the health of the church, explaining that "a little leaven leavens the whole lump". Don't try propping up a perishing world with biblical morality. Instead, seek a higher standard for your church community. And that separation - that holiness - will be a light in the world.

5) Political Apathy

Now, because the world is so clearly perishing, we Christians don't avidly bother stirring up the dust of politics. We cite Romans 13, which says, "The authorities that exist have been established by God". But we forget that the authority Paul is speaking of - Caesar - was born into a governmental system that gave him the power (and responsibility) to establish the laws.

Today, you have likely been been born into a republican democracy - not an empire - that likewise gives you a responsibility. YOU are the governing authority. The U.S. Bill of Rights begins with the words, "We, the People" - not "I, Caesar". So go back and read Romans 13, and ask yourself what your responsibility is as a citizen of a free, voting society.

It's a historical phenomenon that each individual Christian has such a prominent voice in society. Imagine if we engaged in politics with a biblical, unified, and consistent voice. Your governing authority was given to you by God. Use it well. (Also, you may like to know that your church doesn't talk about politics because, if they do, their non-profit status will be revoked. Look it up.)

You're Overwhelmed... I know.

It's true - being a Christian in a medicated, individualistic, apathetic, and falsely-assured society is tough. You can't just wear a purity ring, go to Bible college, and vote blue from the sidelines. The Bible tells us to "renew our minds". And it's true that the mindset of the world is so entrenched in our culture that it's almost impossible to see. But if we refuse to follow the course of the world, we can be a light to all those who are trampled in the flow. So please consider these things, and above all, seek to be like Christ in a world that holds on to anything but Him.

For now,
Phillip

Is "The One" Really Out There?

I have a lot of friends who are getting engaged. It's killing me.

You see, shortly after my post about the difficulties of dating, concluding it with a positive outlook on the messiness of life, my girlfriend and I broke up. Meeting with a caring and wise mentor figure of mine, I realized that it was so messy  - so unstable - that it's best to take a step in the direction of clarity. I couldn't get this voice out of my head that said, "Make a decision - marry her or not". Doesn't anyone else get that when they date for like two years? Three years? EIGHT YEARS? I don't get how or why you do that.

Or maybe I do. Because four weeks later, I'm so lonely that I'm actually writing a public post about my personal pains and problems. It feels like one of those outreaching, self-absorbed pleas for you guys to look up at me and give me some affection. Or maybe it's that artistic passion to express myself. Or maybe it's something I need to do in order to move on.

Either way, I have to ask the question that I've been asking.

Who is 'The One'? Is 'The One' even out there?

Allow me to get theological and heady, as to avoid personal vulnerability for a moment. The answer is yes. God is in control of all things, including the person I marry, the children I have, and whether or not they love Him. Proverbs 16:33 says, "The lot is cast into the lap but its every decision is from the LORD". We could get into an argument of theodicy and throw around a few verses about God's sovereignty versus our free will (and I would win of course) but I'd rather move on and explain the importance of this belief.

Four years ago, I met a young man named Jonah while he was giving his testimony at his baptism on Easter Sunday in Los Angeles. Afterward, I went up and prayed with him. We ended up praying and crying there for nearly an hour. And for the weeks and months to follow, we met up and chatted about things of importance - namely God and girls. Together, we prayed for our future spouses.

Sounds cliché I know. But a thousand miles away, a young woman named Faith was praying for her spouse too. They had grown up together, but it wasn't until Jonah left LA and returned home that a flame was kindled. Over the course of several moments, their love grew strong, and they were affirmed with various kinds of "unexplainable spiritual connections". You can ask him more about it if you want.

I flew to Texas for his wedding in November and then didn't speak with him until a couple of weeks ago (figures). He told me that, in the trials of marriage, which come often, they continually look back and see God in their decision to live together forever. That gives them strength in their times of pain and difficulty.

Knowing my recent state of singleness, he said, "Take heart - I know the one is out there for you, walking around somewhere. I know because we prayed for her."

It actually hit me like a frying pan. So simple and yet so profound: we prayed for someone I may not even know! But does God know her? Do my prayers have any effect on her life right here and now? The truth is - must be - that, if we offer a prayer for our spouse before we're married, God listens - He does something in the spiritual realm, preparing the both of us for each other.

I remembered traveling to The Congo a couple years ago for a documentary I was shooting. One of the men - a pastor named Dr. David Kasali - let us stay in their home. And over a freshly roasted lamb and some very delicious vegetables, he told me, "Phillip, you are already in a relationship with your spouse - you just don't know her yet".

This caused me to look at women with an eye of respect, knowing that they too are in a relationship with their spouse, and it may not be me. (Even writing that now, I am convicted to change my attitude about how I treat girls). But it also encourages me to know that God is in control and able to develop my spouse and me into who we're supposed to be even before we ever meet.

With that in mind, you may be saying, "Phillip, God could decide not to bless you with a spouse". Of course that's true. And here's where "free will" comes in. I have the choice to get married. Probably the one hard part of being a man is that I really have the responsibility to initiate a relationship and to propose marriage to a woman. That's quite a lot of weight. And my decision could be catastrophic. I need to approach such a thought with wisdom, knowing both myself and my spouse well before we decide to get married.

But one thing I've recently learned is that I can try as hard as I want, but if I don't feel intensely - even spiritually - drawn to love this woman for the rest of my life, then it wasn't meant to be. Call me crazy, but that feeling really does have a huge place in love. It causes us to go and do stupid things, like get married. I would even dare to say that it's given to us by God.

And when she walks up the alter and we recite our vows, I will know that she was the one God had for me. She was the one that He had prepared before the foundation of the earth. Our choice and God's election are a paradox, but one that fits well into our paradoxical Trinitarian faith.

Paul tells us that marriage is a symbol of Christ and the church. And just as I look forward to seeing my bridegroom at the altar of eternity, dressed in white above the crimson rose peddles of Christ's blood, I wait in eager expectation to be married to my wife. While I said yes to Jesus, it was the Father who "drew me" to Him. And he will likewise draw my wife and I together to be an earthly symbol of our everlasting marriage to Christ.

Sorry to get all theological. But that truth does something to my heart. It allows me to accept my place in life. It keeps me from turning the corner and looking for my wife in any passing girl. It reminds me that the one - the True One - he has already gone to prepare the wedding feast. So I'm engaged, just like my friends!

And just like their engagement, sometimes our time waiting for our bridegroom really sucks. But for all those in my boat with me, hold firm! Don't awaken love before its time! Great things are to come. And if God agrees with our prayers, we'll get a chance to experience the best expression of God's love for us on this side of Heaven's altar.

I Hate Dating! And So Does My Girlfriend...

People say, "Christians just get married to have sex and live with each other".

Yeah, what's your point?

I have spent my early twenties taking full advantage of my singleness. I even spent three deliberate years celibate and single so that I could focus on the LORD. In that time, I traveled to over a dozen countries researching the second largest illegal industry in the world in places like Juarez, Mexico, Cartagena Colombia, and Kampala, Uganda. I was a filmmaker in Hollywood, a coffee snob in Portland, memorizing the subway in Manhattan and renaming all the beaches I frequented in Hawaii. If you want to ask anybody about the benefits of being single, ask me.

But I can feel my values changing. I have a growing desire for intimacy, commitment, and cohabitation. And despite my investigation of commercial sexual exploitation around the world, I really would like to know what it's like to have sex with someone.
1 Corinthians talks about how the desires of a married man are split - that he has to focus, not only on the things of the LORD, but on the desires of his wife... And I'm okay with that. I may not know all the benefits of marriage, but I can name a few that I'm really looking forward to - namely sex, cohabitation, commitment, and kids.

But I'm not married. And I'm not single. I'm in a relationship. Call it a dating relationship if you want. Call it courting. I've kissed both goodbye, then come back on my knees, asking for a second chance. The truth is that, whatever this gap is between singleness and marriage, it sucks. It's like taking the worst part of marriage and the worst part of singleness and putting them together into a brand new, life-sucking relationship status. All due respect to my girlfriend (to which MUCH respect is due) but dating her - a gorgeous, God-fearing, patient and loving virgin - has been the hardest part of the last five years of my life.

Why is it so much trouble? I think it's because of this one fundamental philosophy I have that says this: The more you reserve for marriage, the more meaningful marriage is. And the more meaningful your marriage is, the more likely it's going to succeed. We know this to be true with sex, for example. If you reserve sex for marriage, then every sexual act with your spouse is a celebration of your commitment - a remembrance of your wedding day. It's like re-stating your vows every time you do it. Indeed, reserving sex for marriage will bond the two together in a way that will not be easily broken.

But it doesn't have to stop there! I've seen people reserve their first kiss for the altar. Call it weird, but now every single kiss they ever have is a special experience unique to marriage. That makes the marriage have more bonding - more significance. And in a culture where marriage is completely insignificant, it's worth fighting to make matrimony unique in any way possible. Save sex for marriage. Save kissing for marriage. Save holding hands, spending time together, saying nice things, talking in general, thinking about talking, thinking about thinking, etc, etc...

Whoa. Hold on.

Surely, I've taken this philosophy too far. But look through the Scriptures - there's almost NOTHING that speaks on the space between marriage and singleness. It's almost like it doesn't exist. I don't exist! And because of that, I am so overwhelmed with anxiety that I can't think. I want to make a decision - to return to the solid, familiar ground of singleness, or push forward to the new world of marriage. But I'm sitting here, floating on the Santa Maria with no food and no wind. If I drift for too long, I will be lost at sea until this ship sinks. My God, what do I do?

In my study of sexual exploitation, abuse, healing, and healthy relationships, I came across Steve and Celestia Tracy, who wrote a book called "Forever and Always: The Art of Intimacy". It talks about varying degrees of intimacy, namely: Relational Intimacy, Emotional Intimacy, Spiritual Intimacy, Physical Intimacy, and Sexual Intimacy. All intimacy is bonding, and every bond hurts to break. But it seems that, while these bonds were never meant to be broken, God asks us to make them. Every relationship (not just a dating relationship) is a risk. But we can't go into relationships trying to avoid pain. Instead, we must understand the risk and vulnerably offer that to our neighbor, our friend, our date, and even our spouse. Not only that, but Christ has given us an exceptional example and inexhaustible resource of risky, painful, and completely fulfilling love.

So maybe it's going to be a long journey on the sea of uncertainty - the crap hole we call dating. And sure, being "in a relationship" is just this quasi-committed secular phrase we've wholeheartedly adopted in the church without batting an eye. But it's a rite of passage that the wealthiest and most entitled and individualistic generation in the history of the world must take. Whoa is me. And what's worse, I've got to hike it with this blond-haired, blue-eyed fox of a lady who, for some reason, has stuck around this long as a friend, a sister, and a companion through thick and thin. That, I must say, is a wonderful benefit of dating.

I Hated the Words "God Said"

"God said"... I hated those words - not when God actually said something in the Bible, but when people said that God said something to them. "God said I'm supposed to go to Africa." "God said I'm going to go to Los Angeles and become an actor". Really? What book of the Bible is that in? I hated when people said stuff like that. It didn't help that my best friend and company partner used the phrase in every business meeting we had about the future of our film production company. It started to feel like that person in the group was the only one who had direct access to God's voice, and all our opinions needed to submit to the very WORD OF GOD (from the mouth of my buddy). But are there really modern day prophets, walking around, speaking on behalf of God?

"Now there were in the church at Antioch prophets and teachers, Barnabas, Simeon who was called Niger, Lucius of Cyrene, Manaen a lifelong friend of Herod the tetrarch, and Saul. While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, 'Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.' Then after fasting and praying they laid their hands on them and sent them off." (Acts 13:1-3)

Today, evangelicals mostly seem to have a very Old Testament view of what a prophet really is. But at Pentecost, Peter looks back to the prophet Joel, who spoke about the change that was about to take place before the Day of the LORD:

"And in the last days it shall be, God declares,
that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh,
and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
    and your young men shall see visions,
    and your old men shall dream dreams;
even on my male servants and female servants
    in those days I will pour out my Spirit, and they shall prophesy." (Acts 2:17-18, Joel 2:28-29)

So he's saying that "all flesh" (not virtually all people, but simply both Jewish people and Gentile people) will receive the same Holy Spirit that came down and spoke solely to the prophets of old! What in the world do we do about this? I mean if this is really true, then when we all gather together at church, it'll be chaos! Everyone will say they have a word from God, and people will go off doing crazy things, thinking a prophet told them to do it! Well, it turns out Paul was having that exact problem with the church in Corinth:

"What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up... Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others weigh what is said. If a revelation is made to another sitting there, let the first be silent. For you can all prophesy one by one, so that all may learn and all be encouraged, and the spirits of prophets are subject to prophets. For God is not a God of confusion but of peace." (1 Cor 14:26, 29-33)

And likewise, Paul says to the Ephesians:
 
"And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ." (Eph 4:11-12)

You see, the Spirit is a beautiful thing. It seems that prophecy (along with other gifts) is so valuable to the building up of the church. He has indeed given us the same power that raised Christ from the dead. But why don't we see this in the church today? I think it has a lot to do with a failure to follow Paul's advice here. I know I've seen a huge abuse of "the gifts of the Spirit", where everyone's talking in tongues and prophesying the weirdest, wrongest things I've ever heard. Sometimes, there's a serious spiritual abuse that happens in the name of "walking in our giftings". So now, a large majority of evangelicals despise this kind of stuff. But 1 Thessalonians says this:

"Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil." (1 Thess 5:19-22)

The big deal here is that prophecy is done along with other people - prophets, apostles, evangelists, teachers, pastors. It's all done in a community and refined in that same community. We've seen in the above verses that fasting, prayer, community affirmation, abstaining from evil, and having a wisdom to take the good and leave the bad are all crucial in the practicing of our gifts.

The craziest part of this all is that the New Testament church seems to recognize that a lot of prophecy is "out of the prophet's butt" as my friend says. But because they're no longer the only one who has the Spirit (like the prophets of the Old Testament) we don't need to kill them for blasphemy. Rather, we just "hold fast what is good". 

So find a safe community of passionate believers, pray, fast, and seek to grow in your spiritual gifts together. Later in Ephesias 4, Paul says that this kind of living is virtually the only way that we're going to become mature Christians. God is still speaking, indeed. But he's doing it through every member of the Body working together. Instead of creating division with this kind of stuff, seek to let it bring unity! This message is important, and it's something worth considering. Why? Because God told me it was.